High as Fuck

• Jon Lajoie
• You Want Some of This?

Have you ever watched the sun go down?

And you’re thinking ‘bout the world spinning round?

Have you ever been high as fuck?

You’re in the bathroom mirror, talking to yourself

And your dog’s looking at you like you need help

Have you ever been high as fuck?

Then you feel your heart pumping really fast

And you’re convinced that you’re gonna have a heart attack

Have you ever been high as fuck?

You close your eyes and you’re on a chicken farm

The only problem’s that the chickens have human arms

You say, that’s fucked up, why do the chickens have human arms?

You need snacks so you walk to the corner store

But you’re scared because you think that they will know you’re high

So you walk around the block to buy some time

You finally decide to go into the store

But you’re so high you don’t know why you’re there anymore

So you just buy a pack of gum and get the hell outta there

You’re walking home and your mouth is dry

You should have bought some juice and snacks

But you were too high

Thinking ‘about ketchup chips

And for some reason, the game battleship

And you start thinking about how fun it was to play games like battleship when you were a kid.

And how, as we get older, we forget how to play and just to enjoy ourselves.

So you say, Guess what? I’m gonna make up a game right now, and it involves a baseball bat

and a porcupine, and I’m gonna try to kill a porcupine with a baseball bat

But then you don’t know where to find a porcupine, so you go out on eBay and you do a search,

but people don’t sell porcupines on the Internet, and you say, You know what, world? You’ve got me cornered again I’m gonna roll another joint

You ever eat a whole bag of crackers

That were so old that they weren’t crispy anymore?

Have you ever been high as fuck?