The Surgeon And The Scientist
Don’t call this an art project
This is science, this is progress
And don’t pretend these are heartfelt words
We are children dressed as surgeons
But disturbed by the sight of our scars
And now we carry scalpels
To trace the scarring
Resting somewhere on the line between my house
Your heart and into your home
Where you lay sleeping like a ceiling fan in winter
Gently turning as the wind reaches its fingers through the window
Just to hold you, like I held you
Pressed like a rose between my fingers
Or like stones I keep in pockets
Meant to weigh me underwater
Meant to keep me underwater
I meant to keep me underwater
These scars will fade away but never disappear, my dear
We’ll raise our fists like lightning rods to god and
If he strikes us down, then he strikes us down
But first, let him hear us speak
We are like the legacy of thunderstorms
We watched and swore in doorways
That we would never be the same again
I can feel you healing and I hate it
Like a harpist without hands
You only bang the strings
You used to love to touch so much
To hear the dissonance drain violently
Into the air and then dissolve
Like all the songs I sang
But never once could make you smile
My god, I would kill to make you smile
My god, I would kill to make you smile
Oh, my god, I would kill to make you smile
My god, I would kill to make you smile
My god, I would kill to make you smile
My god, I would kill to make you smile, smile, smile
And reach out to my hands, soft and frail
To make good on the love that you swear
Still exists, and still thrives
Though we’ve buried our bodies in blood
And old lies, like, “I’m fine”
And “You look so much better than him”