I See Everything
Like any morning of my
Junior year
I stumble in the classroom
Late, but this day I see
Faces, I feel
An air like a funeral
Like a wake
As I sit down
Teacher speaking
Somewhat sombrely
But still confident and calm
Part eulogy
Her speech, and
Part poem, part celebration song
Her warmth and smile
She passes photocopies
Out to us of entries
From a journal
Kept so long ago
She starts to read
And suddenly
It’s 1980
March 5
The cancer is furious
But our son is resilient
We have all the faith
We’ll get through this
No matter what the end
Treatments are violent but
He keeps on smiling
It’s amazing
Finding joy in the little things
April 12
Andrew’s appetite’s improved
And we thank God everyday
But still it’s hard sometimes
To see him in that scarecrow frame
July 9
There’s a suffering
When I look in his eyes
He’s been through so much
We’ve all been through so much, but
What incredible resolve
Our little boy shows, only 7
Standing face to face with death
He said it’s easy to find people
Who have suffered worse than him
“Like Jesus suffered worse than anyone”
He told me last night
“When God abandoned him”, and
September 20
We’ve been playing in the yard
Lately his spirits are high
Although his blood counts aren’t
October 14
He feels tired all the time
November 30
At the hospital again
It feels like home when we’re here
December 8
He’s getting worse ;
January 19
We buried our son today
Our youngest child
And while his death was ugly
We must not
Let it scare us from God
Abundant grace has restored him
A brand new body
And set him free from the torture
Finally rid of the cancer
Before the moment he left
He briefly wrested from death
Suddenly opened his eyes
Said, “I see everything”
“I see everything”
And I will never forget it
The peace and the comfort
You displayed through a pain
That I can only imagine
The loss of a child
To the torture of cancer
Help me
‘Cause I can only imagine
How you recovered
Kept your faith
And held the brightness of life
Inside the smile of a child
You had to bury
And I will never forget him
Or your steadfast faith
No I will never forget you
Now six or seven years later