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You and I in Unison

 

What will I find?

Some sacred thing

To help me handle the tragedy?

Or did I once

Did I have it and lose it?

 

No one should ever have to walk through the fire alone

No one should ever have to brave that storm, no

Everybody

Needs someone or something

 

And when I sing

Don’t I sing your name out

Right at the same time

That I sing my own?

 

Some days, I swear I can feel you

Splitting the light through the window frame

The shapes it makes

Are always warmer, always brighter

Than the rest of what comes through

 

Some days, I swear I can hear you sing

To me, or whisper my name in the slightest way

It’s like the warmest light now laid across my bedroom floor

Is somehow actually you

And not just sunlight

 

I have the memory, climb down the balcony

I put a flower on the back of its dress, it’s

Probably best to forget it

It’s probably best to let go

 

I paint it the shade of where the skin and the lip meet

Only a moment after breaking the kiss, and

I blur out everything else

That’s how I choose to remember it

 

Some nights are a lot like the days, I lay awake too late

I watch the shadows cast and trace your shape

Those silver slivers on the wall, then on the bedsheets

I hear your song in the trees

I finally fall into rest

 

Often later when I’m sleeping you show up in my dreams

Just doing simple things, like buying groceries, and

When I wake up, I could swear you must’ve just left me

Like you got up to get breakfast

Or maybe just to get dressed

 

But the truth is

You were never there, you won’t ever be

Sometimes I think I’m not either

So what do I do

When every day still seems to start and end with you?

 

And you won’t ever know

You won’t ever see

How much your ghost since then

Has been defining me

 

I leave the memory up atop the balcony

I tear this flower from the back of the dress

It’s best this time, I bet

To just forget and let go

 

Paint it the shade of where the lip bleeds and blur it out

I blur out everything else

Just blur out everything else

And let go, and let go, and let go

 

Everybody has to let go someday

Everybody has to let go

I wonder when I will, I wonder

 

But if I still hear you singing in every city I’m in

After I blur it all out, our every memory, if

You never fade with the days, your shape still haunting me then

Should I not just sing along?

Should I not just sing along?

 

I will sing sweetly

Hope that the notes change but

I do not need it to happen

I’m not resigned to it

 

And if they never do

I’ll sing your name in every line

Just like I did throughout this

Just like I’ve always done

 

In every gun, the empty church

And every tortured son

In all those giving up

In all those giving in

 

Until I die I will sing our names in unison

Until I die I will sing our names in unison

Until I die, until I